reflections and reflexions

THIMUN 2010,
The Hague International Model Of United Nations is an incredible experience that you would never forget, i recomend everyone to go there and experience it in your own flesh. In thimun you not only debate about up to date topics, you also adquire experience and withen your horizonts. you have the priviledge to be stuck for 1 week with people form all over the world, and this is no hyperbola. i personally have met so many people coming from so many differnt countries, that it would have been impossible to meet them otherwise. i'm really happy to have gone, and really sad that this is my last year... i envy those in 10th grade... they have 3 opportunities to go to THIMUN...
now that is over, as it's allways a tradittion, i reflect everything that happend on the flight back to valencia (spain)
before classifying this trip as a succeed or as a faulier, i have to analyze everything that happened.
it has helped me to understand myself better. i have been tested in several occasions. i have been putten between the wall and the sword, and i have been able to succesfully come out. i have been able to keep my word, even when i was drunk, and i have been able to proove myself that i can push a situation as far as i want without loosing control. i have also learned how possesive people are, possesive and shelfish. and though it causes me great pain and sorrow to recognize that trait in those who i know, it has helped me to better understand those who are like that.
and i am glad to say that i'm nowere closer to be like that kind of people. i have further thought what the solution could be for those people, but the only one is for them to get their own OBJECT to posses. ja! i'm sorry for THE OBJECT. i would definetly not want to be in their place. argh! too much possesion and controll and selfishness makes me sick. for some odd reason i don't know a fragment of my THIMUN opening speach came into my mind; "lets erradicate the cancer form it's seams". which therefore took me to think about the cause of this actitude. my conlcusion was the result of mixing low selfesteem and lack of action cooked with envy and served in a plate of fear and denial. but there is no magical cure for that, except one's own self. i can only hope that experience will make them open their eyes.
but let's focuse angain on myself,
i have decided that my days of randomly snogging any guy (when beeing drunk) are over and out. and i'm glad to have made that decision :). i would like something better for myself. for instance, one of those romantic princes that disney shows... jaja, just kidding. what i really want is someone that actually knows me, and viceversa. i want to be with someone who can be my lover and my friend at the same time. i'm tierd of always going out with players... and never getting anywere. i recently recieved an email from one of the formal players that i "dated".
he recgnized that he had been a player, and that now, reflecting what he had done, he recognized his errors.
i'd wish that life just slowed down... so many things to do and so litle time...